Yung sunrise sa Kiltepan parang nireremind ka na huwag matakot magsimula. Na baka nga may mga ayaw ka pang matapos o maiwan mula sa kahapon pero pinapaalala nito sa’yo na a new beginning can be this beautiful. That there’s always something good about a fresh start. Yung sunrise sa dagat ng mga ulap, it cheers you up, calms you down, and most importantly, it tells you that it’s okay to restart, to leave some things behind, to let go. It reminds you to just breathe. To embrace hope. And to celebrate the possibilities that a new day has to offer. Ewan. Ang saya sa puso.
Aayusin ko muna ang sarili ko. Promise.
Saksi ang city lights, kalye, at buildings na kaharap ko.
Ako muna. Yung mga mali sa buhay ko, itatama ko muna. Yung magulo, aayusin ko. I’m not saying I’m gonna strive to be perfect. But I will try. To be responsible. To be disciplined. To be stable (financially and emotionally! physically na rin). To give time and love to my family and my friends. To serve. To strengthen my faith. To forgive myself. To learn. To make allowance for my mistakes. And to learn even more. To heal. To grow up.
Today, I learned that a good workplace is important. But good workmates matter more. So much more.
Today, I learned that we should always prioritize, keep, and nurture lifelong relationships. Everyday.
Today, I learned that I’m still confused. And I think, ultimately, there’s nothing more I can do but to wait how things and truth will unfold. And yeah, I will do my best to guard this heart.
Today, I decided to write again.
Ano nga ba ang nangyari? Bakit ako nawala?
Oh well. Kung dito ko sisimulan ang entry na ito, malamang di ko rin ito matatapos at magiging draft lamang ito. Coz for some reasons, it’s so hard to explain. Everytime random thoughts flood my mind and I wanna write about them, my emotions get in the way. Idk. And tonight, muntik ko na ulit hindi ituloy ito. Madaling-araw na kasi at may pasok pa ako later. And jusko yung emotions ko, intense na naman. But I’m guessing, this time, it is PMS. Hahaha
So I’ll just write about my Lolo who’s celebrating his first birthday in heaven. I miss him. We miss him.
He’s one of my favorite people in the universe. And it breaks my heart everytime I realize I can no longer hug him. But still, he surely has his ways of cheering me up.
Last week, I found about my blood type. And boom, parehas kami ni Panday.
And that’s enough to put a smile on my face.
Happy birthday Panday! Salamat po, sa’yo ko pala namana itong dugo kong positibo.
“She loves more than she’ll ever get back and she knows it. And yet, she loves anyway.”
And I tried to change, didn’t I?
Not to be sentimental anymore. Not that sensitive anymore. Not that thoughtful. Not that sweet. Not to wear my heart on my sleeves anymore. Yung poker face na lang? Yung di masyado emotional? Haha Yung not to care too much? Alam mo yun? Para baka sakaling di na ako masyado affected lagi?
But kanina, my fav aunt (who’s in US) sent me a picture of the doll I gave her 8 years ago. Kung naaalala ko pa raw yon. I gave it to her bago sya umalis. And she kept it. Treasured it. At dun ko narealize na I must not change how I love, how I show my love to the people I love. Coz that love can go a long way. Through time and space. And just my luck, that love found me back. It even saved me from the negativity I’ve been feeling.
Hay. How powerful love is.
So Anngie, take it from Kris.
Love, love, love!
I love my aunt, Ninang Aims, so much. Iba yung pagmamahal nya sa akin. Mula noong bata pa ako. Di ko sure kung deserve ko. May kaya palang magmahal sa akin nang ganun (aside from my mom and my sibs). Lucky to have spent good times with her noong umuwi sya. Sinulit ko talaga. Baka matagalan na yung next eh. Hay miss ko na siya. Hope she’s happy wherever she is. For now, I will just send my love for her via prayer (and an IG post haha).
Masarap nga pala minsan yung feeling na meron naman palang may favorite sa akin. (Bukod Kay Alex. Noon. Kbye 😂)
1. Watch gigs (required: Clara Benin, December Avenue, Ang Bandang Shirley)
2. Eat at Maginhawa Streat
3. Trip to Tagaytay
4. Ride train from end to end on a Saturday night
5. Do museum hopping (museo ng katipunan, pinto art museum, national museum)
6. Give potable water to people along the streets
7. Watch sunset at Roxas Blvd