The Insanity that Gives Sanity

Took me more than a month to get back here. Haha What happened? A LOT. It was a crazy month. Lots of first times. Lots of fun. Lots of mood swings. And I must admit, lots of mistakes. There were also down moments, for no apparent reason. But to sum it all up, one word: INSANE.

 

Insane Adventure: EKstreme

Got the chance to explore Enchanted Kingdom for the first time (I KNOW!).  Bonus: With my best friends: Nikko and Jickey. Natuloy din sa wakas! Hahahaha That day was really tiring but totally well spent. And I know, the magic stayed with us. Well, our friendship is our true magic, anyway.

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Photos by: Jickey Ella Mendoza

Insane Encounter (with Angel of Death huhuhaha)

That Insane Adventure became memorable not just because of our BFF day. I will never forget April 8, 2017 because it was the day I refused to die. Yup, I just fought for my life. Woooh strong! So here’s what happened. Before going to EK, we decided to have lunch first at Nuvali. I was doing fine until we got there around 12NN. I thought it’s just because of dysmenorrhea as I was starting to feel pain on my lower abdomen. So, the first thing I did was to go to the restroom. But, when I sat on the toilet bowl, I suddenly felt dizzy. I felt like melting as I started sweating excessively. I felt nauseous. Thinking it’s because of hunger, I immediately got food and water from my bag. But it did not help. So I stood up. That’s when I felt collapsing. I sat on the floor and tried with all my might to get my phone and text Jickey. I managed to send two messages: “Ike help” and “CR.” Fortunately, that time, they were taking selfies (MAUUTAS NA LANG AKO PICTORIAL PA YUNG DALAWANG BUANG) and so she immediately saw my text. She thought I was just gonna ask for napkin but she was shookt to see me on the floor. And according to her, as she describes it to Nikko,  (NV) “Alam mo yung para tayong nagroroadtrip tapos tumigil tayo sa isang gasolinahan para mag-CR si Angge. Tapos dun sya nagbreakdown. Mukha syang broken!!!” Wow, thanks Ike. Anyway, the bottomline is… SHET, THIS IS MY SECOND LIFE! (baka nga hindi lang second eh) HUHU THANK YOU LORD. AND THANK YOU JICKEY FOR SAVING ME. Grabe talaga. I remember myself saying in the middle of my ~battle~, “No. Hindi ako pwedeng mamatay today. Ayoko. Mag-e-EK pa kami. Ako na naman ang jinx.” Yup, my ~fighting thoughts~. And I succeeded. Oh di ba, insane?

Insane Bath (Hahaha BUHUSAYA sa Lucban!!!)

It was my first time to celebrate BUHUSAN, an Easter Sunday celebration in Lucban, ofcourse, with my dearest orgmates. Oh di ba, kung kailan nakagraduate na ako. Hahaha And, it was really fun to the point na understatement na ang salitang fun. Ganern. Highlight of party is when we’re all jumping and screaming together habang nakaikot sa aming mga sisses ang brods. Nagkakabungguan and medyo pisikalan kasi sa crowd. And the sweetest brods suddenly formed a circle where kapit-kapit sila to protect us habang nagwawalwal. Sobrang solid nung feeling. And another solid feeling, I was able to catch up with my friends. Not to mention my heart to heart session with Kathkath and with Chelsie (who gave us warm accommodation, yey thanks Nak!). Ang sarap lang sa feeling to be able to feel alive again because of my orgmates’ hugs and stories. That’s why I’m really hoping for a next getaway with them. Asap!

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Photos by: Ericson Andaya, Cedric Abuso, and Chelsie Calubayan

 

 Insane Move (That Changed My Life CHAROT)

Okay. Honestly, I don’t feel comfortable sharing this here. And man, sobrang haba ikwento. Hahaha So, I’ll just give the gist. In the simplest and most direct way I can. Lol So. Napatunayan kong late bloomer ako. HAHA There’s this guy (eeeew, not so Anngie HAHAHA). Okay “simplest and most direct way” nga pala. I met a guy. In a not-so-Anngie way. HE HE. And then we started having communication. Then I came back to my senses. I told him that I don’t want play time. So I just asked him to be my friend. Pero ang labo nya. Until we lost the “PBB teens” / “sparks” we had at first. Then I got sad. I realized how messed up I am especially when it comes to this thing. I’m so complicated. Combination ni Robin and Ted, that’s how I feel. So I started sharing it to some of my closest friends. Sobrang hesitant ko to share it coz I really find it difficult to talk about it. Ewan ko ba. Di talaga ako sanay. So yun. I got pieces of advice. And, I got the chance to really talk to my heart. Until narealize ko na lang na I’m tired of mind games. My own mind games. And ayaw ko na syang problemahin. So I started getting detached. KAYA BA NG ISANG ANNGIE YON? HAHAHA PERO, YES, KINAKAYA. Coz it’s not just about knowing what you deserve. It’s also believing that you deserve it. So yun, but I did not block him. Tuloy lang, casual na lang ako. And the insane part, until now open pa rin communication namin. Although I thought tapos na when we did not talk for several days. But he still came back. But we’re not like we used to be. In fairness naman, I did not want to push him away and be this “detached.” Sometimes, it’s tempting to show him the real me – clingy, talkative, and medyo thoughtful (hehe claim ko po muna lol). But I can’t. Especially when he can’t give me a reason to do so. Pero teka ano ito. Breaking news! This just in! Yup as in as I’m writing this! Mukhang we’re starting to be real friends na. Half of my heart is saying, “Meh. Okay lang naman.” The other half naman is shouting “Medyo tangaaaa!” Pero wala. Game na. Sabi nga ng post ko sa Instagram kanina, “Do whatever the hell it takes to make you feel real again.” So I guess, tingnan na lang natin kung saan ito hahantong. Abangan ang susunod na kabanata. (SANA NAMAN WAG AKONG LUHAAN BAKLAAAA HUHUHAHAHA) Okay. Simplest. Most direct. Galeng.

 

Insane Life (In a Good Way)

These are just some of the insane moments I got lately. Marami pang iba. Minsan nakakatempt pagsisihan, lalo na pag di mo masyado nagustuhan ang outcome. But that’s life. Being wrong, being right. Being happy, being sad. And everything in between. So just enjoy the insanity, dear self. Magmemake sense din in the end. And if it didn’t, it’s okay, that’s still life.

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