Captain Backfire

Almost, dude.

I was just about to let my guard down, my armor off.

I was just about to “go with the flow.”

I was just about to admit that for some reasons, I feel like I need you everyday. “More and more each day” actually.

But don’t get me wrong. I didn’t think I’m into you. I was just feeling like you’re beginning to be… something else.

Because you took care of me when I was vulnerable. You stayed beside me. You watched the flickering street lights at midnight with me. You listened to me. You were weird as I was. You even handled my tantrums. You made me laugh more often even amidst the hell week. You understood my sentiments. You were always there.

So I started thinking that maybe, this time, in this place, you could be the one. Not a romantic kind of partner. But more like a partner-in-crime. Dora’s Boots. Super Inggo’s Pareng Jomar. Pooh’s Piglet.

But, just when I am about to assure myself with this, with you…

You re-open my mind. I discovered your one.

And suddenly, all my semi-broken walls started to rebuild themselves, brick by brick, higher than before.

‘Cause you just reminded me why I wore this armor in the first place. You reminded me of the stories I told you during those nights.

But no worries. Because this is familiar for me. Too familiar. Because you aren’t the first one who did this to me. You know that.

So what else is new? Ah, I’m so good at this – forgetting the assumptions, the “almosts”,  the “something else” factors, the deceptive feelings. It’s back to being “just you” and “just me.” In short, back to normal.

And it’s fine, okay? I’m not regretting anything we’ve done lately. I enjoyed it, in fact. So, for the record, THANK YOU.

I guess this is just one of those jokes we cracked. But this time, it’s on me.

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